First Date Success - It’s All In The Preparation

1. Don’t stress!

First of all, try not to stress yourself out. Tell yourself, it’s only a date and if it doesn’t work out, so what?

2. Easy on the wedding plans

You may laugh but don’t start planning your wedding! We’ve all been there; dreaming that this could be the one, that you’ll fall in love after a whirlwind romance and get married… and all before you’ve ordered your starter! Obviously, it’s good to be positive but just take each day as it comes in the early stages otherwise you could be heading for disappointment.

3. Listen to music

Listen to some music whilst you’re getting ready; whatever gets you in the mood for a night out and relaxes you.

4. Soak in a bath

If you have time, take a long soak in the bath with a small glass of wine to relax you. I emphasise the word “small”; you don’t want to turn up drunk or smelling of alcohol.

5. Subtle make-up

Girls, try to keep your make-up subtle. The majority of men don’t like to see make-up caked on and if you do happen to snuggle up to your date, he won’t be too impressed if you leave make-up on his collar. As a basic rule, if you’re going for smoky eyes, keep your lips natural with a lick of gloss and if you’re opting for the red Monroe pout then keep your eyes natural.

6. Hair to go

You don’t want a high maintenance hair style that has you running to the toilet every two minutes to check it’s in place so stick to what you know suits you and what you feel comfortable with. Also, easy on the hair products in case your date decides to run his fingers through your hair and gets them stuck!

7. What to wear?

Don’t wear anything too revealing on a first date as it could give out the wrong impression. Remember you can still look sexy without revealing all your goods; less is more!

Decide what you’re going to wear in advance so you’re not in a last minute panic with a bedroom floor covered in reject outfits. The main thing is to feel comfortable in what you’re wearing so you look relaxed; fidgeting with straps and pulling down your hemline every few minutes doesn’t look good.

Your choice of outfit will obviously depend on where you are going; if it’s fancy restaurant then you can glam it up but if it’s a lunchtime date or the cinema then dress it down accordingly.

8. Killer heels or comfy flats?

As for shoes, heels look great but only if you can walk in them so only wear shoes that you are comfortable in. Also, don’t wear new shoes in case you get blisters on the night. Again, your choice of shoes will depend on where you are going so dress for the venue.

9. Fresh breath

Don’t forget to clean your teeth and rinse with a mouthwash. It may sound obvious but so many people forget. Also, keep a packet of mints or chewing gum in your bag in case you need to freshen up later.

10. Aroma, aroma!

Once you’re ready, don’t forget to squirt a bit of your favourite perfume behind the ears and on your wrist (these are the strongest pulse points). Don’t go overboard, the key is to have an aroma about you, not to overpower him with your scent.

11. Arrange transport

Book a taxi or arrange for someone to give you a lift so you get to your meeting place in plenty of time. I wouldn’t advise accepting any offer to pick you up or take you home until you’ve got to know him.

12. Keep the conversation flowing

Give some thought to what you’re going to talk about. Obviously, you can’t plan it word for word but think about things you want to find out about him and questions you could ask to keep the conversation flowing. If you know a good joke, it’s always good to throw that in at some point in the evening to lighten the mood.

13. A kiss goodnight – no more!

Don’t feel pressured into going back to his place or inviting him into yours and certainly don’t feel pressured into having sex! I think it’s best to end the evening with a goodnight kiss so you both leave each other wanting more and more importantly eager to arrange that second date. If you can’t trust yourself to resist his charm go unshaven in the nether regions so that way you won’t be tempted to go any further than a kiss!

14. Watch your drink

Don’t drink excessively! It’s easy to drink faster and more than you would normally because of your nerves but try and pace yourself and if you do feel yourself getting more than tipsy, drink some water.

Also, if you don’t know your date well take your drink with you when you go to the toilets; with so many drinks being spiked in bars these days it’s better to be safe than sorry.

15. Tell a friend

Tell a friend or family member where you’re going and who with and let them know when you’ve arrived home safe.

16. Have fun

Finally, don’t forget to enjoy yourself and have fun!

Successful Dating Begins With Successful Flirting: 11 Flirting Tips For Work and Play

Why are some people born natural flirts and others couldn't charm the backside of a bus if their life depended on it?

The power of flirting goes beyond attracting the opposite sex. Master the art of flirting and you also become a friend magnet and can use your skills to influence business relationships.

"You've either got it or you haven't!" is often what you will hear men saying when they boast about their conquests. Women, on the other hand, are more coy when talking about a man they have met. So as not to appear full of herself, she will often say to her friends "Oooh, I don't think he likes me, what do you think?" If she is a successful flirt, however, she will be thinking along the same lines of a man, "Yeah, he was putty in my hands!"

Flirting is an art requiring confidence without being OTT. A successful flirt knows how to get the balance just right; too much and there is a real danger you will be labelled as "slimy" (if you're a man) and "tarty" (if you're a woman).

If flirting doesn't come naturally to you, you can learn to flirt by building your confidence, believing in yourself and interacting with other people.

Here are some basic flirting tips which can be practised at work and/or on a social scene.

1. Have Fun!

First and foremost flirting is fun! Whether you are the flirter or the flirtee it makes both parties smile (on the inside as well as the outside!). Don't take it seriously; be playful, be light-hearted, be infectious!

2. Ooze Confidence

The best flirts have a positive outlook on life and are happy with themselves. To successfully flirt you need to feel good about yourself before you are able to transmit this "feel good" factor to the opposite sex. If you display a positive and optimistic attitude to life you will find yourself connecting with people who are right for you.

3. Make the first move

Don’t wait for someone to approach you. If it's someone at work you've got your eye on, wait for them to go to the kitchen and then make a beeline for the coffee machine. The same applies in a bar, wait for them to go to the bar and then squeeze in next to them. Start with a simple “Hello” and take things from there. What have you got to lose?

4. Pay a compliment and receive a smile

A genuine compliment costs nothing and yet can make someone feel so special. If someone looks great, tell them! If someone has achieved something to be proud of, tell them! Once you start making someone feel good about themselves, they are more likely to want to spend more time with you! And if someone pays you a compliment, be proud of the compliment and say “Thank you”!

5. Eye to Eye Contact

Eye contact is one of our most powerful communicating mechanisms. Most people don’t have a problem making eye contact with someone they don’t find attractive but they become awkward in front of people they are attracted to. If you tend to look away at people you like, practice making eye contact with people on your way to work, a quick glance and then turn away. This is a good way to build up your confidence. Don’t stare, however, this will make people feel uncomfortable!

6. Pitch your voice

Learn to vary the tone, pitch and speed of your voice. A voice rich in tones sounds far more interesting than one dull note!

7. Listen

A good flirt has the ability to get people to open up and talk about themselves. Pay attention when someone is talking to you and ask questions to show you are interested. The best questions are the ones which will lead to someone remembering a positive experience about themselves.

8. Move your body!

There are many positive body language signs: lingering eye contact, smiling widely, touching someone, head tilting to one side, running fingers through hair, undivided attention but if you really want to let go and flirt openly – dance! Dancing is a great form of self-expression allowing you to interact with someone and connect.

9. Smile, Smile, Smile!

Make your smile contagious! The more you smile the more people will want to know you and be around you!

10. Don’t be rude!

Flirting does not involve being sexually explicit! Nor does it involve being offensive if someone rejects your advances. If you have been flirting with someone and are not receiving positive feedback don’t get disheartened or take it personally, move on to the next person! You may want to consider a different approach if you are getting a lot of rejections.

11. Send an email

Emails are a great way to communicate with someone if you're too shy to approach them face to face. Whether it's someone you are interested in at work or you want to try internet dating, emails and instant messaging allow you to flirt without blushing or getting tongue-tied.

Be careful not to become intimate online too quickly though; it's easy to paint a rosy picture of the person behind the monitor but until you have met them you don't really know them. My message here is get to know someone online before arranging a date, but don't fall in love before meeting them! The reality could burst the bubble!

Hopefully you've got the idea now so the next time you’re online, in the supermarket, in a night club or at work and someone catches your eye, flirt with them!

Lose the Losers

Moreover, when we say “Losers” we mean losers as in losers and keepers, not losers and winners. In dating, there are dates who are keepers - at least until they disappoint you. The rest are losers. The losers are people who may be wonderful human beings. They’re just not right for you. In some ways, dating is like fishing: some you keep, the rest you throw back.

When men and women start dating someone new, they often develop a feeling of obligation to the other person. If the date was polite and considerate, many women will fell that they owe the man another date. If he's created an elaborate, expensive or romantic date, many women feel obligated to have sex with a man. Especially if it's the second or third date, and the man has spent a significant amount of money on the dates.

That’s faulty thinking that gets people into trouble. There are many good reasons to continue seeing someone new, but obligation is not one of them. You don’t have to continue dating someone you have no attraction for. To be really happy, however, you do have to be true to yourself. Being true to yourself means being in a relationship only with someone you admire and respect. If a man meets your requirements and needs, keep him. If he doesn’t, he’s a dating loser. Throw him back for someone else to catch, and keep looking. Remember, a loser is not a bad person. Someone out there will fall in love with him and even marry him. The loser is someone who is just not Mr. Right for you.

Whether it’s the very first date, or the second, or the third, decide minute by minute, hour by hour, if this relationship is working so far. A man is a keeper on every single date until something happens to make him a throwback. You're just dating. You are not in the commitment stage. A man is a throwback at any point that he no longer meets your expectations for a long-term relationship.

If you want to create that perfect relationship for yourself, get yourself a keeper. The way to find a keeper is to lose the losers. Be choosy.

25 Dating Strategies and Tactics

To find a long term relationship, you must go after it. It probably isn't going to fall into your lap.

Here are some tips to improve your success.

1. You have to go after the one you want and then win them over. Be a friend - show attention, understanding, acceptance, and appreciation.

2. Satisfy emotional needs- show interest and listen to them. Spark a romantic emotion. Romance is a combination of hope with some doubt and it adds up to passion. People want what they can't have.

3. The third part of love is respect. It is earned through your actions. You must show an independent and confident personality. You can live with them or without them. You are in no hurry and aren't desperate.

4. You really have to date several people at once. It will make you look like a great catch. When you have multiple options, anyone who wants to be with you will work much harder. Instead of you doing the chasing, they will be chasing you. This takes the pressure off of yourself. You really want to date a few people anyway before jumping from one long term relationship to another.

Dating Strategies to keep in mind:

You must be happy with yourself before you will have success. Be kind to yourself and turn off the negative thoughts. You can change what you can and forget the rest. Don't worry about things you can't change. If you can't change them, all the worry in the world wont do any good.

Set some goals and write them down. You must make a plan with a clear path you want to follow.

You must set aside a night each week to get out of the house. Go where others gather. Check the paper for ideas and get out there. How many people have you met at your house? Force yourself to go out anyway. It is only one night a week, you can still sit on the couch the other six nights. You aren't going to find new people unless you actually go out.

There are single and available people all over the place. Nearly every place you go, has single people if you LOOK. Start simple don't go after the hottest person(too much pressure). Talk to the average person, get a phone number and move on. It really is a simple two step process. Meet and greet, a short conversation with eye contact and then say Great meeting you, but I have got to run; could I get your number? The Key is to RELAX. The more you do this the easier it gets.

Take the initiative and be the first to show interest in them. It shows confidence. You are only trying to get that first date. Don't start fretting about your wedding and future children just yet. Keep it simple. But you must do it yourself, no one will do it for you. Don't let an opportunity pass by, get that phone number and go from there.

Rejection is part of the dating game. Don't take it personal, not everyone is going to want to date you. They may not be dating at all right now. You never know unless you ask. Don't be afraid of looking foolish, we all look foolish all the time. Use positive reactions in the face of rejection. You aren't worried if they say no. You asked and that is the most important thing. One more no means you didn't waste your time and money on someone who isn't even interested. Plus you are just closer to finding the one who is interested. It is all practice and will make you a master at dating that much quicker.

Get out of the house and start looking tonight.

Online Dating: 13 Tips To Write A Winning Online Profile And Attract A Date

Now let me ask you how long you would spend (or have spent) writing a profile for an online dating site? Less than 5 minutes, possibly 10 minutes maximum?

When you consider that you literally have minutes to impress someone and stand out from the rest in the online dating scene, don’t you agree that more time and effort should be put into writing an online profile?

If you are an online dater, I’m sure you will agree with me that when you are searching for a partner online you will first of all look at the profiles with photos and, secondly, you will look at the profiles where people have taken the time to write something about themselves. So if you have no photo and/or an incomplete and uninformative profile, don’t be surprised if you inbox isn’t full to the brim with messages!

I’m going to share a few tips with you to get you started writing an eye-catching profile. Once you’ve read them take some time to think about what you are going to write and jot down some quick notes before hitting the keyboard.

1. Grab a friend

If you don’t like writing about yourself or think you are going to get writer’s block it’s a good idea to enlist the help of a friend; the kind of friend who is always saying to you “I can’t understand why you’re still single, you’re such a catch”. Ask your friend what your star qualities are and he or she will come up with a million and one positive things about you which you would have never thought of or dared to say about yourself.

2. Strike a pose

The most effective way to get noticed online, is to include a photo. Choose a clear photo that shows in your best light and preferably smiling - it makes much better viewing!

3. Choose a fun username

This is the name which you will be known as by members on the dating site. I would advise you to use a name other than your real name to remain anonymous. Try and choose a name that is fun and reflects your personality, i.e. Sporty Sam or Disco Queen. Do not use a name which is sexually provocative or offensive.

4. Captivate your audience

Make your profile really stand out so that any person reading it will think “Wow, I have to get to know this person!”

Online dating sites have made it easy for you when completing your profile by providing drop down menus for basic questions such as your appearance, lifestyle, hobbies but you will also be given additional space to write something yourself. Use this space wisely to provide a more detailed description about your personality, your interests and what you are looking for. The key is to be confident and talk positively about yourself without coming across bigheaded.

5. Don’t leave an empty space

If you feel you have covered everything by answering the profile questions – please do not leave the additional space blank or write “ask me”, “tell you later” or “I don’t know what to say”. Members will see your profile and think you’re either not serious about dating or that if you can’t be bothered to put some effort into writing a profile you will have the same approach in a relationship – effortless! Instead extend on the information already provided, for example, if you have stated you like travelling talk about some of the places you have visited.

6. Ask questions

If there is a particular place you visited and fell in love with, ask anyone who has been there to get in touch with you so you can reminisce together. Asking a question in your profile makes it easy for other members to respond to.

7. Be Honest

Don’t lie about interests; you will get found out! For example, don’t say you love long walks in the countryside if you really like to dance the night away in nightclubs every weekend. You’ll attract the wrong person and waste both of your time.

As with any other kind of dating, it is always best to be honest from the start so answer all questions honestly and finding your perfect match will be much easier!

8. Show your funny side

I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Show people that you have a sense of humour, e.g. talk about a scene from one of your all time favourite comedies and you may strike a chord with someone else who found the same thing just as funny as you.

9. Dream a little

Write about your dreams and ambitions. If your dream is to travel the world but you haven’t quite got round to it there may be someone out there who would like to share this experience with you. If you’ve been lucky enough to fulfil your dreams, share your story with other members.

10. Don’t mention the ex!

Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but don’t write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.

11. Your expectations

What are your expectations from joining an online dating site? Tell people the kind of relationship you are hoping to find but don’t say you are looking for marriage if you are really looking for a casual fling and vice versa. Again, you will waste both of your time.

12. Write a chapter, not a book

By this I mean, don’t tell your whole life story in your profile. I encourage you to provide as much information as possible about yourself but use short bursts of information, sectioned by paragraphs, rather than writing a long essay so whoever is reading it is intrigued to find out more about you.

13. Be safe

Finally, do not include any personal information in your profile, e.g. your e-mail address, home address, work address or telephone number. A reputable dating site will remove any personal information before it appears live on site; this is to ensure that they provide you with a safe online dating environment.

Once you’ve completed your profile, read through it or ask a trusted friend to read through it and ask, would you reply to this person? If yes, it’s all systems go. If no, look at the areas where it can be improved until you’ve created that winning profile. It may take longer than 5 or 10 minutes but the results that will show in your inbox will be worth it!

About The Author

Alison Edwards writes articles for http://www.SnappyDates.com a UK based dating site. If you are stuck for ideas about your online profile, members of http://www.SnappyDates.com can write to Alison at Alison@SnappyDates.com for advice on how they can improve their profile.

Top 10 Dating-Relationship Mistakes - JBC

In your search for a great relationship, you shouldn’t just leave things to luck. There are many things that you can do that can enhance your dating experience. Unfortunately, though, there are also an awful lot of things that you can do to make sure that you’re a dating flop.

The following are the most common mistakes made by daters. Take the time to read and learn them so that you won’t make these mistakes too.

• The False Front – though it is important to look good when you’re dating, remember that you should always be realistic. If you do meet someone you like, you will be seeing that person a lot. In that case, you won’t be spending several hours getting ready every time. There is a difference between looking nice, and setting your date up for disillusionment. When you get ready, remember to be yourself. Look your best, look good, but make sure that it’s you in there! No false fronts.

• Availability – when you’re dating, it’s important to make yourself available when you find someone you like. After all, you’ve gone to an awful lot of effort to find a person who may qualify for a relationship. That person won’t stick around forever if you don’t put in some effort.

• Realistic Fun – relationships are often a lot of fun when they first get started. Everything is so fresh, exciting, and new. However, it doesn’t take long to discover that fun can only go so far. Make sure that you have other things in common, such as goals and values, if you want something long-term. Other than fun, you need to keep your eyes open for companionship, respect, love, and commitment. With those characteristics, you’re bound to have fun and a great relationship.

• Perfectionism – we all have our own fantasies about the right person. After building up this fictional Mr. or Ms. Right for so long, it can be hard to let a real person in. After all, real people are flawed. There is nothing wrong with having a dream. Just don’t let your dream block out a perfectly good person for a great relationship. Remember that it is our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us special. Instead of rejecting them, treasure them when they come in a great person.

• Immediacy – a relationship isn’t something that happens instantly. Though you may want a relationship immediately, unless you give it time to grow, you’ll only be disappointed. Give yourself the opportunity to meet people, get to know people, like people, and find the right person. By rushing into a relationship, you’re setting up for a fall.

• Needs – though love is very important in a relationship, there is a lot more to it than just one emotion. The Beatles song “All You Need is Love” is sweet, but isn’t the key to a long-term relationship. You (and your partner) have many needs, and they all need to be met for things to work. Love is only one of those needs. You also need to remember responsibility, appreciation, trust, intimacy, and many other important factors.

• Time – one of the hardest things to admit to yourself is that a person you’ve been seeing for a long time isn’t the person for you. You may have known it from the start of the relationship, but didn’t want to hurt any feelings. The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. While you’re dating, you’re testing out different people to find the right one for you. If you discover that you’re with the wrong person, the best thing you can do is stop. It’s only fair to yourself and to your partner.

By avoiding these most common mistakes, you’ll be much more certain to have a happy relationship. It will meet your needs and those of your partner. It will also last much longer, and through many more obstacles. Happy dating.